Little Sis asked me if she could color with a pen. I said no, since she rarely seems to color that paper at all. Just her hands and the table.
I ran to the bathroom and came back into the kitchen and found Big Sis giving her a pen.
“Why are you giving her a pen?”
“Its okay, Mom. She asked me and I said yes.”
“Yeah. You’re not the one in charge here. I am. And I said no. I outrank you. Put the pen back.”
*last night, Big Sister was up from 2:23 until just after 3am. Crying. Because I gave her a drink in the wrong color dixie cup when she woke me out of a dead sleep because she was thirsty. (She can, of course, only drink out of a purple or pink dixie cup. Blue ones are for boys. Or her little sister.)
*for the last 3 days (ironically, the exact same number of days Husband has been gone), Little Sister has decided to get up one hour earlier than she used to. For no apparent reason. Other than that it is fun to get into bed with Mommy and have a full body spasm every 3.4 seconds and kick Mommy repeatedly so that Mommy can’t get any more sleep.
*this morning, Little Sister has thrown 4 fits. Already.
*Big Sis had 2 time-outs this morning.
*my 10-minute shower was interrupted twice. By crying kids.
*Little Sis spilled her cereal all over the floor.
*Big Sis somehow dipped her toy horse in her yogurt. Then was upset because the horse was dirty. (um, DUH!)
*There is now peanut butter smeared on the couch. Big Sis had peanut butter on her toast for breakfast. Coincidence? I think not.
*It is only 9:20.
help.
**update – At 12:10, I found the girls playing with not-yet-frozen flav-r-ices in the family room. Oh, yes. You know where this is going… a blue one had opened up and there was blue liquid all over the family room rug and pooled on a blanket we had received as a wedding gift. At 12:30, my mother-in-law showed up and saved my sanity by letting me get out of the house and away from the children for a bit. Lucky for them, cause I was about three seconds away from totally losing it.
A blog that I read semi-regularly had an interesting post today on spanking. She wanted to know “Were you spanked growing up? Does it affect how you discipline as a parent? And if you’re a spanker, please tell me why it works for you.” I’ve actually thought about posting about spanking before, but shied away because of the controversy. But here goes.
I was spanked growing up. I don’t really remember it, though. My parents did not just spank – we had time-outs, lost tv privileges, had last night’s dinner served to us at breakfast when we refused to eat and, later, got grounded. (I think I was grounded throughout most of high school.) I don’t think that my being spanked or not as a child had much to do with how I discipline my children. (My husband was spanked growing up as well).
When we had our first, I was still unsure about spanking. How could I ever to this sweet, innocent little baby? Simply unimagineable. Then she learned to crawl. And stuck her hand in the oven. And burned all of her fingers on her right hand. I realized that I needed a firmer form of discipline simply to protect her.
So we started telling her “No.” And if she disobeyed, she got a swat on her hand. Which she did NOT like. And it worked. She began to obey. Soon, we rarely had to swat her hand because she responded so well. We would tell her no and she would look longingly at the vcr which she was trying to stick her hand in. We would say, “Do you need discipline to help you obey?” And she would obey. We didn’t start spanking her on her bottom until she was around 18 months old. And that was just as effective. (We did the same thing with Little Sis).
Now, we use spanking with both the girls (age 3 & 2). But it is rarely needed. Big Sister is spanked probably once a week. Little Sister, probably once a day, since her hobby is putting her life in danger. (She was spanked yesterday for jumping up and down in the bathtub. After I told her to stop.)
Some stipulations:
1. We never spank in public. This includes spanking in front of other people in our home. The purpose is to correct the behavior, not to humiliate them. Even if its just me and the two girls at home, if they need discipline they get it separately and in the privacy of their own room with the door shut.
2. We never spank when we are angry. This is hard. It continually amazes me how someone so small can make me so. incredibly. angry. If I am losing my cool, then they get a time-out in their beds. And so do I. Spanking is not a way to vent my frustration on my kids. Despite the temptation. Especially at 4am. When you’ve been woken up for the 5th time. For no apparent reason except your daughter’s personal entertainment. (I’m sure I’ve slipped on this one or two times….)
3. We have a routine. I take them into their rooms and they sit in my lap. I ask them what they did: “What did Mommy tell you?” “Not to touch the stove.” “Did you obey?” “No.” “So you need two disciplines.” (2 spanks) Then, they get cuddled and we talk about what happened, what they could have done differently. Sometimes we pray. They always apologize and they’re always forgiven. We give kisses and hugs and then they jump down and go back to playing. Its over and we move on.
4. Except in rare cases (like when they put their lives in danger), they get a warning before they are spanked.
5. We don’t always use spanking. Time-outs are more common. Losing privileges has started. (If there is fighting over the tv (“Dora!” “No! Blues Clues!” scream!!), it goes off for the rest of the day.) It varies from situation to situation, child to child.
Its hard to spank – I’ve cried while doing it. Particularly when they are getting spanked for doing something dangerous and I’m so upset at the thought of what could have happened. (Like the day Big Sis ran into the street and missed being hit by a pick-up truck by inches. Inches.) But I am convinced that – if done well – spanking is an effective and important form of discipline.
The problem, of course, is that people are morons. People beat their kids. There is a lot of suppressed rage in people these days – exhibit a: road rage. And its sad. I don’t think spanking should be banned, since I know so many parents who use it well. But, it breaks my heart to think of people taking things out of their children.
We know a family who adopted from overseas and are not permitted to spank the child (they did spank their other 3). And they’ve shared how without spanking, it is much more difficult to control behavioral issues and to discourage disobedience. Interesting observation.
I’m sure there are people out there who think I’m a monster for spanking my kids and deserve to be thrown in jail. Fine. I remain convinced that this is a respectable form of discipline. I cling to Hebrews 12:11 – No discipline is pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Thanks, dcrmom. She just loves to tag me “because I like to pick on her”.
1. Do you like the looks and content of your blog?
I guess I like the look. Its just a standard WordPress template, so I do kind of wish it was more original or something. As far as content, I’m pretty pleased. I set my other blog to be a journal for my family, who all live miles away. Then I realized that there were things I wanted to write about that I didn’t think my grandmother needed to read. So here we are. I often wish I was more inspired to write brilliant posts. But, since I am usually too busy to do much besides relay the material my kids give me, thats what it ends up being.
2. Does your family know about your blog?
Yes – my immediate family and one of my aunts reads this blog. (I think everyone reads the family one.) My husband tries to keep up, but he prefers me to tell him what is going on in my head, rather than reading about it on my blog or (worse!) hearing about it from someone who read it on my blog.
3. Can you tell your friends about your blog?
My friends know about it and some read it. I’m not sure who, except for dcrmom, Carrie and Kim. (hey girls!)
4. Do you just read the blogs of those who comment on your blog?
No – I read lots of bloggers that probably have never read my blog. But I always check out the blogs of people who comment here and usually add them to my Bloglines account for awhile to see if I like them. I’ve found some fantastic blogs like that! (like this one and this one!)
5. Did your blog positively affect your mind?
Uh, I guess so. Its nice to have a place to journal and stuff, since my kids don’t seem to want to discuss much besides Disney Princesses. I feel like life is going by so fast sometimes, I am thankful for the opportunity to write things down and keep a record. And I think that the “mommy-blogs” very theraputic, to know there are moms out there who aren’t perfect and aren’t afarid to admit it.
6. What does the number of visitors to your blog mean?
I don’t check my stats very often. One thing I love about WordPress is that it keeps a record of what specific posts people are reading. I find this more interesting that actual readership. And tells you what people searched in Google to find your blog. That is often hilarious. For example, today people found me by searching: “husband isn’t fun anymore,” “first night after marriage” and “lick sister-in-law.” Hum.
7. Do you imagine what other bloggers look like?
Sometimes. I love when bloggers post pictures!
8. Do you think blogging has any real benefit?
In general, yes. For me, I think so. As dcrmom put it, it gives me an opportunity to socialize when I’m stuck at home going bonkers. And I think its better to vent online than to my kids. And I hope our family will have a record of our daily lives. And it helps me waste my free time on the internet – always a good thing.
9. Do you think that the blogosphere is a stand alone community separated from the real world?
Not at all.
10. Do some political blogs scare you? Do you avoid them?
Not really, unless they are written by really crazy people. I avoid them because there is enough arguing in my life in the form of my kids. I don’t need to go looking for more.
11. Do you think criticizing your blog is useful?
Sure! What would you like to see change? Anything you want me to write about?
12. Have you ever thought what would happen to your blog in case you died?
Who thought up that question? Ew.
13. Which blogger has had the greatest impression on you?
Hum. I would have to say dcrmom, the superstar of this post, since she is the one who convinced me to start blogging.
14. Which blogger do you think is the most similar to you?
Probably DCRmom, since she is a ‘real-life’ friend. Or my sister, since as we get older, we are discovering that we are eerily similiar.
15. Name a song you want to listen to.
Where did that come from? I just bought Closer by Joshua Radin on itunes.
I tag fancythis and lifelemons, because they are always tagging me. wah-ha-ha!!
I think Little Sis’s dress is a mite revealing, don’t you? We may have to have a chat before the prom….
Okay. I don’t normally explore my strange fascination with celebrity gossip on my blog. But I’ve been watching all the Golden Globe/Red Carpet recaps this past week and something is really bugging me:
Kate Winslet is not fat. Every time some C-List fashion commentator mentioned her, they said something like, “This is such a great dress for her body type.” or “I just love how she is so proud of her body and refuses to conform to the Hollywood standard.” Okay. First off, look at her. She’s totally gorgeous. Secondly, she is maybe a size 8. She is not some fat cow rolling down the red carpet in a muumuu. She is a gorgeous, healthy looking woman! (which is more than I can say for some celebrities, not to name names.) Ugh. And people wonder why half the junior high girls in the country are throwing up their lunches in the school bathrooms……
1/16 of an inch of snow is more than enough to play in. Especially when its the most you’ve seen all year!
I hate bugs. Like really hate bugs. My kids love them. When we catch a bug, they want to name it and keep it as a pet. So I started telling them how bugs have families and they mamas would miss them so much if we kept them, so we need to send the bugs home to their mamas. So now when we find a bug, my kids get all excited: “Mama! We need to send him home to his mama! He’s lost!”
So we pick them up in a tissue (or several tissues depending on the bug’s size) and put him in the toilet and flush, while the kids wave, saying “Bye, Buggy! Say hi to your mama! Bye!!!” Because the potty beings the bugs home to their mamas. Betcha didn’t know that.
Today Big Sis has decided to be a puppy.
“What do you want for breakfast, Big Sister, waffles or toast?”
“Mama! I’m a puppy! Ask the puppy!!”
“What do you want for breakfast, puppy?”
“Woof, woof, waffles!”
“Come get dressed.”
“Puppies don’t wear clothes, Mama.”
“In my house they do. Get in here.”
“Why is Little Sis crying?”
“She’s afarid of puppies.”
“Perhaps the ‘puppy’ should go home.”
“She is home Mama. She lives here, so she can stay forever. Woof, woof!” as ‘puppy’ licks my leg!!!
through gritted teeth “Super.”
update: Around lunchtime, Little Sis decided that she had enough of the puppy. She had been a kitty cat all morning, but that was not holding up to the obnoxious puppy. So Little Sister decided she should be something stronger. Little Sister went right up to Big Sister’s face and yelled, “ROOOAARRR!!!! Big Sister burst into tears. As I was hugging Big Sis, I asked Little Sis, “What was that?” She said “I’m not a kitty anymore. I’m a lion!!!”
Last night I watched this sci-fi dvd with Husband, in an attempt to be a cool wife. He often gets movies that I have no desire to see (recently this or that) and I just do something else and don’t watch. I have a very overactive imagination, so I just don’t watch things that freak me out. But last night we watched this dvd – it was good. Really good. I liked it. I was totally into it. Until the cannibalistic spacemen came on. Eww. So I just didn’t look at those parts, except occasionally on accident when one of them jumped out or something.
Then, I went up and went to bed. And… this is so embarassing. I was freaked out. I had to pee. But I didn’t want to because a cannibalistic spaceman might have been waiting for me in the bathroom. (Let’s not even mention when I opened my eyes and Big Sister was standing next to the bed watching me sleep, which scared the living crap out of me.) Isn’t that totally ridiculous? I’m an adult. I know that these spacemen do not exist. I know that. But it still freaked me out. Me and my overactive imagination. Not a good combo. No more R-rated movies for me without parental supervision, I guess.
p.s.
No, I will not tell you what we watched because then you will make fun of me even more than you already are. A girl has her pride.