My husband came in as I was writing a post for All Things Chic {we’re giving away a gorgeous hand-dyed silk pashmina scarf! Go enter!!}
And he’s like, “What are you putting a picture of your boob on the internet?”
And I’m like, “Its not of my boob! Its of my scarf!”
And he’s like, “If you say so!”
That is TOTALLY a picture of my scarf.
When he goes out to eat with guys from work, he’ll order something I love so he can bring me home the leftovers.
Yumm… crabcake for lunch!
(okay – semi-wordless) A friend sent us these pictures from Haiti, ones that actually have my husband in them!
The fact that he spent his vacation doing this confirms that I married the most amazing guy on earth.
So this year, for the first time since Ellie was born, we found ourselves childless on New Years Eve. What to do?
"Lets go into Philly and go out to dinner," I wildly suggested.
"Lets go to New York," my crazy husband said.
{Yes, my husband is nuts. But I knew that when I married him.}
So on New Years Eve, I found myself on a train to New York's Penn Station on my way to Times Square. After years of watching it on television and saying, "People must be CRAZY to go there!" I was there! This year, we were the ones who were actually crazy enough to go to TIMES SQUARE on NEW YEARS EVE!
It was even more crazy as it looks on TV. Except much louder, smellier and with more people. At one point we were in such a crazy crowd that people pressed up to us on every side and when someone moved next to me, I was actually lifted off the ground — that's how tightly we were packed into this street! Not super fun.
We really did it right – we had a hotel right in Times Square. You could actually see the ball from our hotel room window! See?
So we had a place to get away from the crowd and warm up and – most importantly – a bathroom. (There are NO bathrooms in Times Square! DUH!) And we of course needed a place to sip champagne š
We can cross Times Square on New Years Eve off our bucket lists – and now we never, ever have to go again! 
Some tips if you ever go:
Please don't ever think that husbands who travel for work a lot have it easy. Itās so tempting. As we talked about earlier this week, its hard to feel sorry for him while heās
jetting around Europe, going to amazing restaurants, not to mention
getting to sleep in a hotel room alone, getting a full night sleep while I'm stuck
at home with the kids, eating cereal for dinner.
But he's not on vacation. Not only is he super busy on his trips, usually coming home
exhausted and jet lagged, but he has to also deal with this while he's gone…
…they have to leave a lot behind. How would you like finding that someone snuck that into your suitcase? Or listening to your daughter's tears on the phone because she wants you to tuck her in and you're not there?
"We miss you Dad but I will see you soon and I love you"
And that's me, Colin, Ellie and Gracie crying at the closed front door.
Its hard for them as well. They miss us too.
Today we’re tackling the fourth installment in our sisterhood of the traveling husbands series, where I’m sharing some key tips to keeping your sanity when you’re on your own at home.
PART FOUR: Coming home
Think about this: what do you want your traveling husband to come home to?
Do I want him to come home to a messy house, to be greeted by a long list of chores and complaints from a cranky wife?
Or do I want him to walk in to a peaceful, comfortable place full of people who are thrilled to see him?
Do I want him to have to pause at the door and brace himself for the chaos he’s about to face?
Or do I want him to walk in the door to our home and want to be nowhere else in the world?
I try hard to make sure my husband does not come home to a disaster. I clean the house during the afternoon on the day he is coming home. My kids like to āhelpā me, by dusting or cleaning up their room. I usually go grocery shopping that day as well and make sure I have a good meal planned – after eating out for a few days he’s usually dying for a home cooked meal. Then, if I can, I’ll even get the kids bathed and dressed in their pajamas.Ā
So what feels casual is actually quite deliberate: house is clean, the lights are on, dinner is simmering on the stove, the kids are bathed, ready for the night and playing quietly, maybe I’ll have music playing… when he walks into a house, everything is done. We can eat dinner and just relax and be together.
(Of course, there’s been a few times that Husband has surprised us and come home early before we’ve prepared for his arrival. He finds it hilarious how we really live when he’s gone š
I highly recommend the book Heaven at Home: Establishing and Enjoying a Peaceful Home
. It helped me create a vision of what I want our home to be – a place of refuge from the world, a place of love and acceptance and a place of refreshment – both for our family and for everyone who enters our home. There are fabulous chapters about encouraging your spouse, cultivating peace between siblings and structuring your day.
After all, home is where the heart is. And there’s nothing like coming home.
Today we’re tackling installment three in our sisterhood of the traveling husbands series, where I’m sharing some key tips to keeping your sanity when you’re on your own at home.
PART THREE: Planning is key
Planning can drastically reduce your stress. Afternoons and evenings can drag like you would not believe. Actually, if you’re a parent, you probably can believe it. (For me, evenings are when I totally start to lose it.) Planning ahead will save your sanity. Trust me.
Plan some activities: The first night Husband is gone on a long trip, we go to the library to get new books and movies. We have Popcorn Pajama Parties, where the kids and I pile up on the couch in our pjs and watch a movie, weāll snuggle up in bed and read books all evening, we draw pictures for relatives and write letters, we make a Lego town, or we bake cookies or banana bread for breakfast.Ā Just be sure to plan something so you don’t end up sitting on the floor with your kids crawling all over you telling you they’re bored. Which never happens to me. Ahem.
Plan some outings: Some nights I need to get out of the house. Especially if I’ve been home all day with just the kids, getting out of the house for an hour or two is so therapeutic. You know the feeling. So we:
Plan a backup plan: Pick up a movie or toy on sale and save it for when you really, really need it. If your kids love stickers, have a stash of stickers handy. My kids love to color, so I pick up new
coloring books at the Dollar Store to pull out on a particularly long night.
Plan together: Send out an SOS email ā there is probably another mom who has a traveling husband too! Get together! One mom brings the nuggets, the other brings the french fries, the kids get entertained and you get some adult conversation! If you’re parents live nearby, head over there for dinner. I can’t tell you what a lifesaver this can be!!
What are your family’s favorite after dinner/before bedtime activities?
Today we're tackling installment two in our sisterhood of the traveling husbands series, where I'm sharing some key tips to keeping your sanity when you're on your own at home.
PART TWO: Keeping it simple.
The Meals: Iām totally not motivated to cook when my husband is gone. And my kids love
it. Here are some of our favorite Daddy's out meals:
Paper plates are your friends. So is take-out. That delivers.
The House: The house tends to get a little messy. Okay, trashed. I don't really bother wasting energy trying to keep it picked up. I just do a big clean the day that he's coming home and don't stress about it!
The Kids: They're going to be asking more of you, so prepare for it. Carve out extra play time in your schedule. Usually, they play with Daddy while I clean up from dinner, so I make sure to schedule some good
The Mama: My schedule is totally different when I'm on my own. When I'm running around trying to get everyone to school or wherever they need to go in the morning, I just can't squeeze in a shower. (Plus, you can only imagine the trouble my son can get in during the ten minutes I'm in the shower!) Plus, I can't stay up late or it catches up with me really quickly. When the kids go to bed at 8:00, I take a shower then go to bed and read or work on my blog or something quiet. If I stay up late one or two nights, its just too hard to get up and function the next day!
How do you simplify when life gets super busy?
Recently my husband has traveled almost every week, leaving me at home with three kids by myself. Now that he’s home for a spell, I’m quickly appreciating how much easier it is to have two parents around! He doesn’t travel all the time, but it goes in spurts.
People are constantly asking me how I deal with it when he travels. Sometimes, I ask
myself the very same thing. It is not easy.
Sometimes, it is just about surviving.Ā Like those weeks where something breaks, the kids are sick, you get sick, the house is a disaster, you’re out of milk and bread, there is a huge snowstorm and his flight is delayed again… Or when he casually mentions how he is just so tired of eating in fancy restaurants and he’ll probably just go to bed early in his fancy hotel room he gets all to himself; as the kids are screaming at you in the background for more scrambled eggs, which you are having for dinner again.Ā (Disclosure: Its usually not that bad.. but we’ve certainly been there!) It can be hard to remember that he’s working and not on vacation.
Usually
when he’s traveling – even on a normal, unexciting week – by the end of the week, I am exhausted, the house is a disaster and
patience had left the building. You might have guessed this by my twitter feed.
But, over time,Ā I’ve not only learned a few
little tricks, but I’ve learned to develop a good attitude about his traveling… and its made all the difference in the world. So this week, I’m sharing some of the tricks I’ve learned to cope to handling things on my own.
PART ONE: Focus on the positive
There are some positive things about Husband traveling. His traveling for work is how we are able to travel so much as a family, thanks to airline miles and hotel points. I don’t cook as much, after the kids go to bed I have time to myself, so I usually can get lots of work done, I can watch Twilight without anyone laughing at me… of course I’d rather Husband was around, but we’re thinking positive, right?Ā š
His traveling has helped me to be more independent.Ā I have learned how to fix leaking sinks and broken toilets, how to restart the furnace, how to kill gigantic spiders allĀ by myself. I take care of all of our finances. (Math is not my thing: this is quite an accomplishment for me.) Think about it: on those weeks when he is only home for two or three days, why would I want to hand him a huge to-do list for those precious few days we have him here? He just wants to spend time with us and we just want to spend time with him! So when he is traveling, I do as much as I can before he gets home so when he’s home, we get quality time together.
My biggest challenge is that when you’re the only parent around, patience can wear thin very quickly. Homework, housework, bedtime, bathtime… and the worst, discipline… everything is up to you and only you. And its exhausting. With three young kids, I feel like all I am doing some days is saying “NO!” and “Stop that!” and I constantly feel like the bad guy. So I decided I needed some ways to keep things balanced and encourage them (and me!).
Sticker Charts: Each child gets a piece
of paper with their name on it and we hang them up on the wall of the
kitchen. They earn stickers by:
Its inexpensive – just a piece of paper and some cool stickers – and with young kids, its a great way for them to see how the week is going. At the end of the week when Daddy comes home, the kids are
thrilled to show him all of the stickers they earned! Occasionally when their charts are really full (or Mommy reallyneeds a break), Daddy will take them out for a hour or two on Saturday to ‘celebrate’ their sticker charts. Mommy likes this.
Kisses for Kindness: We have a jar on the counter filled with Hershey Kisses. When I catch one of them doing something extra loving
or unselfish, they get ‘kissed’ for being kind. The only rule is they
cannot tell me they did something – we have to catch them in the act.
Not that they don’t try. (“Mom, I gave Grace my favorite toy! Wasn’t
that so super kind of me?”) Its a great way to give immediate encouragement when kidsĀ are being loving andĀ making good choices. Its been great! It has made the girls much more
aware of being kind and unselfish towards each other. And cuts down on the fighting. Because the fighting leads to yelling and no one likes the yelling.
Does your husband travel? What do you think are the positives about it?