Author: Melissa

Last week, before heading to Cape May, I went to the doctor. He thinks that I have Lyme’s again.  So I was put on antibiotics.

My body did not like the antibiotics. I was feeling incredibly nauseous whenever I took them, so I tried taking them with food, at different times a day… nothing was working. While they made the Lyme’s symptoms go away, they made me spent quite a bit of time lying down eating dry toast trying not to throw up.

So yesterday, we let them get out of my system. While I cared for someone else who was throwing up. Which I’m sure qualifies as “getting some rest,” like the doctor suggested. (WHY do they suggest that to moms? Seriously! Don’t they know moms can’t be sick?)  Anyway, they gave me new meds that I was able to take last night. Hopefully these will do the trick.

But meanwhile, I can barely type. My hands and arms are aching so very badly and I am totally exhausted. And its the last week of school and dance recital week, so our schedule is insane.

Like I said, moms can’t be sick. I hope this passes quickly.

We made eye contact across the aisle, as you were trying to simultaneously pick up your toddler who was throwing a fit and calm the crying newborn in your cart.

I gave you that small smile that made you look away from me, embarrassed.  I was the woman in the store looking very put-together, having just come from a meeting, with no children with me. And you were so frazzled, trying to control your kids. You obviously hadn’t showered. You looked so embarrassed. And so very tired. You looked like I made you feel bad about yourself.

And I’ve been in your shoes – getting looked as my kids freak out. Feeling judged as a bad mom, practically hearing them think “My kids would never act like that.” Feeling frazzled and frumpy and embarrassed.

But I wasn’t judging you – I was remembering.

You see…

Monday, I was the mom who yelled at her kid for dropping a (full) bowl of cereal on the floor she had just cleaned.
Tuesday, I was the mom in the grocery store whose kids were arguing over who touched who as they begged loudly for cupcakes.
Wednesday, I was the mom who obviously hadn’t showered, running all over creation still in her workout clothes from that morning.
Thursday, I was once again that mom whose son was laying on the floor of Target crying because she wouldn’t buy him a toy.
Friday, I was so frazzled that I completely forgot a playdate I had scheduled and had to apologize to my daughter’s 6-year-old friend.

I was smiling because I totally, completely understood what you were feeling at that moment.

And I wished I could have told you that.