Girlymama

So I’m at the wedding shower for my future sister-in-law on Saturday. I’m a bridesmaid. Now, granted, I am the oldest bridesmaid. Only one other is married, the rest are under 20 (there’s 7, I think).  And we’re all talking, visiting, blah blah blah.

And this bridesmaid – still in high school – says to me, “Can I call you by your first name? I mean, I don’t want to be disrespectful or anything.”

WHAT?!?! (the bold, italic, caps cannot to justice to my indignation here.) Just how old do you think I am!!?!?! How old do I look?  Excuse me while I whack you in the head with my cane, which I will need as I hobble down the aisle behind all these youngsters.  For the record I am only 27. and three quarters, if you must know.

Now, I do not have grey hair or wrinkles. I think I dress fairly hip. I believe that my outfit that day was entirely from the GAP. And I had a pretty hip purse that was admired by the other bridesmaids. So, WHAT??!?! Am I so old that high school kids feel uncomfortable calling me by my first name? Yes, I have two kids and yes, I do drive a minivan. But do I really, really seem that old??

I am sooo depressed. I’m going out to buy some eye cream.

G3: “Jesus is in heaven.”
Me: “Yes, He is! Are you going to go to heaven?”
G3: “Yes, I’m going to heaven. On a cloud. A pink cloud.”

My mom’s been bugging me about this, so here it is!

The Bride-to-be with her quilt

front of quilt

border embroidery

back

G3: “Mommy, G1 wants a baby sister too! She’s practicing!!”

Sigh.  I can’t win. Even the three-year-old thinks its time. I will be strong. I will be strong!!  No babies yet! No babies yet!! Think. Remember. Maternity clothes (ew). Throwing up (ewww). Labor (eee-OWWW!).  No sleep. Nursing all night. Stitches in awful places.

oh, but they’re so cute!!!! Look:

 This was G1 when she was one day old. Geez, I love babies – especially when they are super teeny-tiny…

NO! It’s just because I became an auntie last week, I am obsessed with babies again.  I will now go read all my friends’ blogs who have new babies.  That will get it out of my system…

Okay, I guess I have to follow the crowd. Here’s 100 more things to learn about me. Like there’s not enough personal things floating around in cyberspace about me…..

1.     I’m a Christian.
2.     I’m the oldest of four kids.
3.     I love kids.
4.     I have 2 kids.
5.     One was a bit of a surprise, one was a shock.
6.     I can’t decide if I want 3 or 4 kids.
7.     At this rate, maybe we don’t have to decide anything, since it seems to be decided for us.
8.     I have always, always wanted to have twins.
9.     When I met my husband, I had a boyfriend.
10. Two days later, I broke up with that boyfriend because I decided I wanted to marry a guy like my husband.
11. It took about 6 months for me to realize that I could stop waiting for a guy ‘like my husband’ and actually date him.
12. My family still teases me about this.
13. My favorite color is pink. (way girly. I know!)
14. I hate cheese.
15. But my favorite food is pizza. Although French fries hold a special place in my heart.
16. I love Splenda and drink diet soda and Crystal Light.
17. And I don’t believe for one minute that it will give me cancer.
18. I love red wine. And beer.
19. I must have red wine with my pasta.
20. I love carbs. Especially pasta and crusty bread. With butter. Yum.
21. I wear make-up almost every day, but I hate doing my hair.
22. I was a sorority girl.
23. I majored in political science.
24. I wish I knew why.
25. I once planned on becoming a lawyer who specialized in international adoptions.
26. I test very well, so I don’t think I’m as smart as my grades said.
27. I wish I had tried harder in school to actually learn instead of just getting ‘A’s.
28. I’m a perfectionist.
29. This has caused me a lot of unnecessary stress.
30. I don’t cry much over my own life.
31. But I often cry with other people and at movies. And occasionally at a commercial.
32. My mom is my best friend and I talk to her almost every day.
33. I love giving people presents.
34. So much that I often give people presents early because I am so excited that I just can’t wait any longer.
35. This included giving my sister-in-law her birthday present in May. Her birthday is August 20.
36. I often wish that I had a ton of money because I dream about giving people things. Like paying for my sister’s college or my brother-in-law’s wedding or to fix my mom’s car or helping out a missionary.
37. Although this dream occasionally includes a shopping spree at the mall because I love to shop. For anything.
38. I love attention. I think this is why I danced for so long. Not much beats a room full of people clapping… for you.
39. I wear Romance by Ralph Lauren. Or Beautiful by Estee Lauder.
40. I was eating dinner when my mom called to tell me my dad died. I still can’t eat what I was eating that night and its been years.
41. I have never been pulled over by a cop.
42. I love the beach. My dream house is located right on the ocean.
43. I love lying out in the sun and almost never wear sunscreen.
44. Yes, I know its bad for me.
45. I do pilates several times a week.
46. I like my arms.
47. I hate my butt.
48. I wish I had boobs again. But they left when I stopped nursing. Sigh.
49. I fear my children being hurt, whether physically or by mean people.
50. I get nervous when my husband has to fly for a business trip.
51. I love dogs but I don’t want one.
52. If I had one, I would want an English Springer Spaniel.
53. I hate American Football.
54. I love soccer.
55. I adore romantic comedies.
56. I hate horror movies. I have seen 3 and still have nightmares.
57. I failed my drivers test the first time.
58. I swore I would never, ever drive a minivan. Ever.
59. I drive a minivan.
60. I regulary doubt my abilities as a parent.
61. I think that the Harry Potter series is brilliant and have read each book several times.
62. Cinderella is my favorite movie, and has been since I was three.
63. I love Star Wars.
64. And James Bond.
65. I think that Ewan McGregor is amazing and I wish he was the new James Bond.
66. I have a weakness for guys who can sing.
67. My husband can’t sing.
68. I sing in the car. And my kids are now old enough to object.
69. I hate wearing shoes. Except flip-flops. I love flip-flops.
70. I am always multi-tasking.
71. Right now I am also playing hide-and-seek with the girls. (I’m seeking, they are in the closet, giggling)
72. I read everyday.
73. I am utterly and completely addicted to coffee. And I love it.
74. I once dyed my hair purple by accident.
75. I actually like to clean.
76. Clutter seriously stresses me out.
77. I’m a ‘tosser’ and regularly throw things away.
78. I often end up looking through the garbage for something I threw away.
79. I love to cook.
80. The Barefoot Contessa series are my favorite cookbooks.
81. I love, love, love Martha Stewart and was heartbroken when she was sent to jail.
82. I’m very afraid of bugs. And sharks. The bug one is more of a regular problem.
83. My biggest pet peeve is rude people.
84. I hate reality TV. Hate it.
85. I almost got a tattoo, but chickened out in the waiting room.
86. I am very grateful for this.
87. I really, really want a diamond wedding band. (sigh. someday….)
88. I played the piano.
89. I wish I still could.
90. I have horrible eyesight.
91. I am eternally grateful to whoever invented contacts.
92. I have horrible teeth.
93. This included countless fillings, braces, and wearing headgear in middle school.
94. I pray that my children inherit my husband’s teeth and eyesight!
95. I love spas.
96. But can’t afford to ever go to them.
97. I’ve made 6 quilts.
98. But I hate arts and crafts. Too much clutter!
99. I can function well on amazingly little sleep.
100.  I am strangely fascinated with celebrity gossip.

I’m done! Yay! After writing this and reading my sister’s list, I am finding them eerily similar….

This woman has GOT to get a life!!!!!  Good grief!!! A hunger strike??? Are you Ghandi, now!?? And what’s with the celebrities getting involved? I am so over hearing celebrities try to talk politics. Oh, yeah – you’re in touch with the plight of the common man.  How much was that Oscar basket worth? $30,000? For reading a paragraph on tv? And what was your last paycheck? $10 million? Yes. I’m sure that the single mother with 2 jobs and no health insurance, who can’t even afford a ticket to one of your movies appreciates your support.  

Hum – celebrities on a “hunger strike” to end the war.  Aren’t most of them always on a hunger strike. err…. diet? (I know, cheap shot. But you were thinking it too! I know you were!)

I got this from a friend’s blog — you go to Wikipedia and type your birthday month and day into the search.

My birthday is extremely depressing. Seriously. Some highlights:

seriously. There were, like, 2 good things that happened…

Although I do share a birthday with:

But look who died on my birthday:

Oh well.

I just don’t understand it. How do we have so much food when other people live like this?  I know there’s issues like “capitalism” and “free trade” and “survival of the fittest.” But we waste so much food in America. Restaurants, grocery stores, etc must throw away tons of food every day.  Its only a 6 hour flight across the Atlantic — couldn’t we just send a plane every few days or something?

It just boggles my mind that children are wasting away, starving to death without any hope in this day and age. I just got back from the grocery store, filled with every kind of food imaginable (and some so-called “foods” I’d rather not imagine, thank you).  My kids were cheering as I heaved the 12-pound watermelon into our cart – that cost all of $3. They were asking me to please, please get the swirly-colored Popsicles instead of the plain.  And this mother is watching her child die, unable to find him any food to nourish his tiny, failing body.

How can we just sit here, stuffing our faces, a nation plagued by overindulgence and obesity, while these people starve? I just don’t get it.

After reading this article, I am more convinced than ever that my serious shark phobia is totally valid and not at all crazy, despite what logical-engineer-Husband says.

Says Husband to sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated me on the way to church, after I did something stupid. Okay, I got a mint for myself, gave one to him, put mints back in my purse, (brief pause) then get the mints out again, saying: “Oh, I forgot to offer you a mint! Would you like one?”

He looks at me and says:

“Babe, you gotta lay off the crack. Its messing with your mind.”