Girlymama

Okay, Moms. Has this happened to you?

Now, I’ve never been in to horror movies, but I love movies. Pretty much all types. Our Netflix queue is almost 300 movies long. But ever since I’ve become a mom, I have become more sensitive to certain movies. Like last night, Husband was watching Blood Diamond, which focused on genocide and civil war in Sierra Leone. The opening scene is a violent attack on a village by ‘soldiers.’ After 2 minutes I had to leave. I couldn’t take it – too much for me. This has happened with other movies that I’ve watched that I’m forgetting at the moment…. Like Cry Freedom, that ends with a massacre of schoolchildren. I remember being up all night after that one. I just can’t take watching stuff like that!
Maybe its because I’m a mom? Maybe the thought of being in a situation like that with my children… I don’t know. Has anyone else found themselves feeling this way since becoming a mom? Am I just nuts? Cause that’s totally possible.

Sort of unrelated, but we Netflixed Casino Royale this weekend. Holy heck, that is a great movie. I just love James Bond, even if he is a chauvinistic man-slut. (See, that kind of violence doesn’t bother me. I’m totally desensitized to stuff like that!)

Stephanie at Adventures in Babywearing (via Musings of a Housewife) has a Monday Photo Tag.  It involves showing off our handbags.  She wants to know what we carry — diaper bag or purse, big or little, fancy or frugal???

Okay, I don’t normally play along with stuff like this, but I am a purse-a-holic. I love purses. I have… many. I even have started designing my own and making them in my ‘free time’ (snort). Now I don’t buy fancy handbags, but that is not some sort of statement. I have nothing against expensive handbags. I love expensive handbags! My treasured old Coach bags would probably be grabbed along with my kids as I rush out of the burning house. But, since I have two kids and a budget, my new idea of ‘really expensive’ is Vera.

Anywho, I have two bags that I love. I use this one all the time. Everyone is always asking me where I got it. Answer? From my brother for Christmas. Seriously. Technically, I picked it out, but he still got it for me. What a guy. (Still single, Ladies!)
I love it because it comes from Target and, while it looks like leather, it is actually this plastic-y material that is highly washable so you can clean it and wear it when it rains. Room for everything, lots of pockets… I love it!!

This is my other one.

My “What?-I’m-too-young-to-be-a-mom” purse. I love this fabric. Actually, love doesn’t describe it. I love this fabric. I big-ol’-fluffy-pink-heart this fabric.

While at the mall on Saturday, I passed the Coach store and saw this in the window. Drool….

If you want to play Photo Tag, stop over to Steph’s place and add your link to her Mr. Linky on this post.

Its been one heck of a day and its only 9am.

Husband called me this morning to tell me that one of his co-workers, who we are friends with, was rushed into brain surgery because of bleeding on the brain. He had a couple of shunts placed in his skull to relieve the pressure on his brain.  He is reportedly “stable” but no word yet on what the damage is.  Pray for Kyle.

I went outside to take Ellie to school and realized our van was dead. I’m hoping its just the battery. But – regardless – I’m stuck here. Husband is trying to find jumper cables from someone at work so he can jump the van and I can get to Bible Study. I’m almost ready to buy a bicycle and be done with all this car nonsense.

I just got the call: our van is officially fixed! Yay!! No more trying to shove into a teeny car. No more backaches from hauling the kids in and out of their car seats at weird angles. This was our rental and let me give you a bit of advise: This car sucks. Yes, we had a pretty bottom-of-the-line model, but this car seriously sucked. My husband’s head touched the ceiling when he was in it – and he’s only 6 feet tall. It didn’t drive well in snow and the automatic lock and three other things were broken – and the car was less than one year old. Yuck. If it had been the convertible model, I might have overlooked all that, though.

So I’m back to the mommy-mobile. No more somewhat-sporty “race car,” as the girls called it. No more boys honking at me before they noticed the car seats in the back. Now that’s something that never happens when I’m driving the minivan!! 🙂

Seriously, have you ever been honked at (in a “Hey-Good-Lookin'” way, not a “HEY-You-just-cut-me-off-Learn-to-drive-Lady!” way) while driving a Mommy-Mobile?

Have you ever made a decision… and then felt instantly nauseous? Gah. That was today for me.  We did it. We bought our tickets to India. And my heart was pounding and I felt sick as I was pressing the ‘confirm’ to buy the tickets. So much money. So risky – on so many levels. We don’t have our visas yet. What if we get sick? So much money. Will my kids be okay? What if they get sick? What if something happens and we can’t go and we lose all that money?  So much money.

Seriously. I need to lay down. This step of faith is proving too much for me.

Some fun, inspired by DCRmom. Things I’ve done are in boldtype.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive (I’ve taken a Hummer for a test drive, though)
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula (I. Would. Die.)
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone.
08. Said “I love you” and meant it (Every day!)
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped (HAHAHA! Not in a zillion years. Don’t like heights.)
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (while seasick)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables (Only one bean grew of all the plants I tried to grow. Wascally Wabbits.)
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper (Are you kidding?)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon (again. Heights.)
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (Oh my gosh, yes!)
27. Had a food fight (College. Fun times.)
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger  (I’ve been asked out BY strangers.)
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking (Often!)
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk (Soooooo many times. Sorority girl.)
42. Had amazing friends (I’m so lucky!)
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe (A backpack? Are you kidding? I am the Queen of Overpacking!)
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach 
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them (In China – sat at a picnic table outside a street vendor. That counts, methinks)
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs (How else would you store them?)
57. Pretended to be a superhero (SuperMom!)
58. Sung karaoke (badly)
59. Lounged around in bed all day (Only when I’ve been sick.)
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud (see #60)
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (What’s D&D?)
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days (Did two days once, fasted for charity. Almost died!)
77. Made cookies from scratch (Um, this would be why my pants don’t fit.)
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice (for my 10th anniversary, I will do this!! Can’t wait!)
80. Gotten a tattoo (Chickened out in the waiting room, while my friend got hers.)
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently (Spoke well enough to get around, anyway)
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children/currently raising child
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears (again. Chickened out.)
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild (ewwwww. Muchrooms…)
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet (Nev.Er.)
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents (This is my husband’s goal. He’s almost there! Blasted Antartica!)
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed (Again – heights!)
132. Touched a cockroach (NOT on purpose. Let me assure you.)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad – and the Odyssey (yawn)
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (I’ve helped my dad clean fish.)
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream (Some days.)
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Let me know if you play!

… or an uncle or something. Because only someone with little to no experience with children would take a 4-year-old and 2-year-old out to Dunkin’ Donuts (to celebrate “d” week) and then take them to Toys ‘R Us to buy a gift for a friend. While they are all hopped up on sugar and caffeine they got from sipping my coffee when I wasn’t looking (seriously). That went well. It was like shopping with two hummingbirds. By the time we left, I am fairly sure that everyone in the store knew the kids names after hearing me yell:
“Ellie! Grace! ELLIE! Get over here and stay with Mommy!!!! I mean it! Don’t touch that! No, we are NOT buying that! Get back here!!”
As my kids said:
“Giggle, giggle, canwegetthispleeeeezzzzzeeeee?, Gigglegigglegiggle… Let’s hide over here and see how loud Mommy shouts this time. Hahahahahaha!!! Look at her going crazy! This is fun! Let’s ask her if we can get this obnoxious toy!”*

Duh. No one to blame but myself for this one.

*Now I’m not totally sure that is what they were saying. But I’m pretty sure.

************
In other news, here’s Ellie in her flower girl dress:

Please ignore the laundry and general chaos behind her. I bought her these shoes in black to match. Think they go? I’ve been looking for some ballet flats, but alas, they are nowhere to be found for little girls these days. Only flip-flops and Easter shoes.
And for giggles, here’s a picture of Grace looking confused by Connect Four:

So, as I mentioned earlier, Ellie has been suffering from anxiety issues lately. With good reason. We were in a car accident and before that, she was alone in a car that started rolling down a driveway. Then, this past Friday, a week after the accident, we saw an accident happen on our street – right where our accident happened. (Great location, our house. I think we should move.) So, needless to say, she is now freaking out regularly.  Like crying whenever she gets into a car, saying she is afraid we will have another accident. Or throwing a fit if we have to drive when there is snow. Or crying when she is in a car alone, before I have walked around the car to get in the driver’s side, saying she is going to roll away. Or having nightmares about car accidents. Having real accidents. As in wetting her pants.
We’ve been assuring her that God is taking care of us, He is in control, Do not be anxious, etc… what else can we do to help her through this?  Besides moving to Hawaii where it never snows. Not that I’d have a problem with that. If its the only way to help her, I’d be willing to make that sacrifice for my daughter. I’m just that kind of mom.

I am officially in a funk. Ugh. I am tired and grumpy. I have not desire to do anything except sleep. (And eat junk food. That I can muster the energy to do.)  I keep getting energized for like a morning, then losing all motivation again. I don’t want to do anything. Staying in bed all day is just about my speed these days, although I could handle laying on the couch.
I’m certainly feeling stressed. Maybe its the icky winter weather. Maybe its from the accident. (Ellie has been having serious anxiety issues – she cried today when it was time to drive to school, because she was afarid of getting in an accident again. Ugh.) Maybe its money woes – I’m sick of having such a tight budget. Its annoying. I’m definately feeling major stress, since I missed my period this month. That always happens when I get seriously stressed out.
Whatever it is, I really need to snap out of it. Mind over matter, or whatever that saying is. I need to remember how blessed I am and get back in God’s word to remind me of truths. I started exercising again, since that is supposed to help. And our vacation coming soon should help too, being away from home and out in the sunshine! Spring will be very welcome 🙂 

Anyway, that’s what the scoop is from here. Not that we haven’t had any fun moments:
Gracie at dinner last night: “Dear God, thank you for my daddy. And dear God, thank you for daddy because we love him so very much. Thank you for daddy. Amen. Oh. And for food. Amen.” How sweet is she?

And seriously: two weeks from today, we will be in Disneyland. I am dying here, people. Nevermind not telling the kiddos, we shouldn’t have told me that we were going! I’mjustsoexcitedicouldjustscream! okayIwillAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I was in a fog all weekend. Gracie got croup again Friday night, so we spent some quality time in the bathroom with the shower on full-blast while she hacked away. This meant I was a bundle of energy the rest of the time, which was a bummer because my sister and her boyfriend were visiting. It was still lots of fun, but I felt like I was 300 years old next to these energetic college kids.
Plus, in an effort to share the love, Grace gave me her cold. Sniff.
**********
In other news, Grace is seriously depressed, since Auntie Nicole abandoned her to return home to Ohio. She is wandering around, sniffing occasionally, whispering “Auntie Colie go” sadly. Next time, Auntie Colie, I am hiding her in your suitcase when you leave.
**********
TWO WEEKS from TODAY we will be on the airplane, heading to Disneyland. AHHHHHH!!!!!!
**********
Sorry for the boring blogging lately. I have been tired and uninspired. Hopefully things will pick up this week. But not in a bad way, like my kids going to the ER or having my roof cave in. I don’t need that much blogging material.