Girlymama

Today I learned something strange about myself.

As I was picking out my coffee mug to pour out the elixir of life my coffee, I heard myself thinking, “I’ll use red to give my outfit some color.” It dawned on me:
I pick out the coffee mug that best matches my outfit.
I never realized I was doing this. Is that weird? Because I think it may be. Just a little.

My little business is officially underway! Almost one year after the initial idea was born, I’ve finally organized myself. I’m 75% excited, 25% nervous 🙂 I opened the store online yesterday and have put about 20 of my items up. I can’t even describe how it felt to see my little shop. I’ve been working on this for so long and its finally there!!
Many more will be coming soon*, but this is a start! Go check it out!!

*more bags, smaller gift sets and new fabrics. keep checking!

Grace, holding a Cinderella doll, was overheard singing the following song:

“Where’s my mom?
Where’s my mom?
She’s dead, but I’m still singing…”

This concerns me a little.

Me: Ellie, go outside and get your Crocs. You left them on the deck.
Ellie: Why? Why do I need to go get them?
Me: Well, it might rain and they’d get all wet.
Ellie: Actually, Mom, they are plastic, so they can go underwater and everything and they’ll be okay.
Husband: looking at my stunned face She’s got you there.

She’s four. And she is already arguing logically with me. This tells me two things:
1) She clearly takes after her father.
2) I need to start getting my facts straight or I may be in trouble very soon.

I didn’t run away. Well, not really. I did go out alone last night for some therapeutic Starbucks coffee and magazines in nice, quiet Barnes & Noble. Where no one peed on the floor around me. And I had a grand old time listening to the guy two tables away trying to pick up the girl at the table next to me. He was failing miserably, it was very hard not to giggle into my coffee. Then I came home and slept for 12 hours straight. Amazing how therapeutic that is 🙂
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Today Ellie and I went to the grocery store. Which took forever because they are re-doing our grocery store. Again. And every time I go in, they have moved everything around, so I end up walking all over the place while my ice cream melts.  Speaking of ice cream, have you tried these? Because holy heck,  are they awesome. Husband and I cannot stop eating them.
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You know how kids act like terrors all day, but when Daddy walks in the door they are perfect little angels? (Back me up here, Moms.) That would be Grace. Who did not wet herself once all day. (Still had a Number Two accident, but that’s nothing new.) Husband is like, “Are you sure you weren’t just distracted or something?” I’ll show her distracted.
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Anywho, stay tuned. Big shop announcement coming soon!!

This was originally posted last year on this date – the day my dad died 7 years ago. I have neither the mental or emotional energy to write anything new, but I wanted to share something to commemorate. This week gets very emotional and my whole family can feel my stress when this day is coming.
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This past week marked the 6th anniversary of my dad’s death. How are you supposed to mark a date like that? Technically, it was on Friday, so I taught VBS, cleaned up the house, took care of my kids, ran to the grocery store and crashed into bed at 8:30. Humm….. what are you supposed to do? Visit the grave? Look at pictures? Seriously. I’m wondering.

Six years later, I can look back on that day without tears (usually). The happy memories of my dad outweigh the grief of his passing. This took a lot of time, of course, but it happened. It is a tremendous comfort to know he is with his Savior in heaven. I mainly get down when I watch my father-in-law playing with my kids. My dad would have been an amazing grandpa and it breaks my heart that he never got to meet his grandchildren. I find myself wondering if he can see them, if he knows them. The Bible doesn’t address that, but I wonder. Now that Ellie is getting older, she will be asking where Grandpa is. (We have pictures of him around the house and, when she asks, we say who he is.) So soon we’ll be explaining all of that to her.

My dad’s death was a tremendous test of my faith. How could God do this to my family? Why us? Why now? I remember acting strong for my mom and siblings.  Taking care of details and arrangements. Calling people to tell them the news.  Helping my mom think through plans for the family, cleaning her house and sitting with other grieving family members.  And I also remember sobbing alone in the shower.  I remember my little sister crawling into my bed because she couldn’t sleep alone. Watching my mother walk around like a zombie. Handing out tissues at the wake because I hate listening to people snort. Through all of that, I had to trust that God’s timing was perfect. I had to trust God to take care of my family, since I had just gotten married and moved out-of-state a month before. I had to trust God with my own broken heart. I’m not even sure that “heartbreaking” does justice to how truly devastating that experience was for me. There were days when I couldn’t even pray. It was too painful – my heart was crushed in a vice and no words could come out. I could only get out something like, ‘Dear God…’ and nothing else would come. I would end up curled in a ball, sobbing out my grief to the Lord.

I’m not really a “cryer.”  But, singing this hymn in church on Sunday had me holding in my tears. I am continually overwhelmed by God’s grace in my life. I know that my dad’s death was not an accident or a punishment or whatever. I am not angry with God. I don’t understand why this had to happen, but I have peace about it. I know that the Lord is good. I know he is faithful. I know that he takes care of me and my family. And I know He will be faithfully keep his promises to the end of time.

Jesus! What a help in sorrow! While the billows o’er me roll,
even when my heart is breaking, he, my comfort, helps my soul.
Hallelujah! What a Savior! Hallelujah! What a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving, he is with me to the end.

Jesus! What a guide and keeper! While the tempest still is high,
storms about me, night o’ertakes me, he, my pilot, hears my cry.
Hallelujah! What a Savior! Hallelujah! What a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving, he is with me to the end.

Jesus! I do now receive him, more than all in him I find;
he hath granted me forgiveness, I am his and he is mine.
Hallelujah! What a Savior! Hallelujah! What a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving, he is with me to the end.
Jesus! What a Friend for Sinners! verses 3-5

My kids are acting totally out-of-control. I’m feeling very annoyed and overwhelmed.

Example 1: 3 out of 4 pee-pees happened on my carpet, rather than the potty today.
Example 2: 2 out of 4 drinks served to my kids ended up spilled all over the floor I cleaned yesterday.
Example 3: I have lost track of the time-outs and disciplines. Seriously.
Example 4: The fighting. Oh my goodness, the fighting. Not to mention the yelling, screaming and the hitting.

I don’t know what is going on. Maybe this was all brought on by my daring to potty train Grace before she turns 3 later this month. But there is something in the water here that is causing my kids to act crazy. And I freely admit that I am not handling it very well. A week of potty training has shot my patience.

Ellie had just finally fallen asleep when I started to type this.  And guess who just walked up the stairs? Gracie. And guess who Grace woke up? Ellie. That was a nice 5 minute break.

Okay. Back to work. I can finish this day. But you can bet good money that these kids will be in bed by 7:00 tonight.

I am so frustrated with Gracie right now. That little stinker did not go potty once all day. Oh, she peed, of course. All. Over. My. House!
She had 7 accidents. Seven. She did not make it to the potty once for me. Not that she even tried. At all. She just peed and then went about her business of playing or whatever. Apparently she was raised in the wild.
Husband came home, took one look at me and said, “Maybe you should go out to Target alone tonight. I’ll stay home with the kids.” Maybe the eye twitch was giving me away 🙂

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. And a Friday.

that my daughter put these two particular letters on her foot to make a “tattoo”:

Why, yes, we are huge Simpsons fans! How did you know?