The other day, someone said something I hate to hear. “You’re the perfect mom.”
Oh sweetie. Clearly you don’t know me very well.
Yes, my kids were dressed up for church, sitting quietly together. But that was a mere 5 minute window into our day.
You didn’t see me yelling at them to get in the car. Or telling my daughter to “stop whining” while I tried to brush her crazy hair into something presentable. Or having to reason with my son over why he couldn’t wear only his Star Wars underwear and a pajama top to church (“Why can’t I? God knows what my butt looks like! He made it, Mom!”). Or the piles of laundry I stepped over on the way out the door.
I am so so far from a perfect mother. Most days I feel like a “Barely Adequate Mother.” For so many reasons. Like:
- I bribe my kids. Its amazing what they will do for a quarter.
- My kids call for Daddy in the middle of the night because I’m mean when they wake me up.
- I forget things. I show up late. We’re the ones who show up at guitar lessons and have forgotten to bring the guitar.
- I let them watch tv so I can sleep. Or work. Or just enjoy 10 minutes to myself.
- I hate playdates. Unless they are with my friends.
- I hate messy crafts. I don’t do Playdoh. Or glitter. NEVER glitter.
- I lose my temper. I make them cry. I cry.
For every time I walk out of Target with a smiling, behaving children, there is probably a time I walked out with someone crying because I didn’t buy them [insert toy/book/stickers/whatever here]. For every time you see us in public looking presentable, there was probably a battle beforehand about what they were going to wear, how we will do their hair and, most likely, both.
We’re all that mom with the screaming kid. That frazzled mom hissing “STOP IT RIGHTNOWORELSE” through her teeth. That mom who looks every bit as exhausted as she feels.
You might just catch us on a good day.
About Melissa
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I am working while my kids play and watch tv right now. I am there with you and I am glad I am not the only one who doesn’t do messy crafts or playdoh with the kids. That is something they go to school for right?
Thank you for being honest! Most moms don’t have the courage or humility or admit publicly that we aren’t at our best all the time. But who is? I think as along as we’re doing our best and working on our biggest faults a little at a time, we’ll be ok.
This is such a great post. I know the feeling!!! I bride, let them watch tv, yell a bit more then I would like to and my son always want to go out in his pjs!!! Oh and my kids NEVER wake my husband because he is so grumpy in the middle of the night.
I just wrote about this too. Your little boy is hilarious! (Easy for me to say, I know.) People assume I have the patience of a saint because I have six kids. That is definitely not true. And there has been no Play-doh in this house in years. And I’m okay with that.
exactly!!! play-doh is why i play for preschool
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on this blog before, but I just have to say: “MEEEE TOOOO!” Thank you for sharing your imperfections. I am the same, imperfect mom that you are.
Yay! Thanks for commenting!
I think we’ll all just need to be all imperfect together!
Great post, Melissa! It’s so easy to see moms who look all put together and think they actually do have it all together. But really, with kids, how could anyone? And the more kids you have, the more chances for the unpredictable to happen at any given moment.
And I don’t mind Play-doh, but I do NOT do glitter. No way. Even if someone makes something at school that has glitter on it, it does not make it through the front door.
Exactly. Even people who look like they have it together have their moments
I needed this post today. It has been a rough few weeks around here. Lots of changes and it has affected everyone’s behavior, including mine.
Also, I threw out all of the moon dough in the house in a fit of rage last week. I believe Satan himself invented moon dough.
LOL! I bet, Megan. Hang in there – new little ones make everyone’s life turn upside down!! xo
First.
I want to hug you.
Second.
I want to know if you are secretly writing about me and my life. Because you just wrote it word for word. Sometimes I worry that someone will get a REAL window into my life (even though I try to be pretty transparent) – there would be whispers, shaking of heads and gnashing of teeth.
But it’s all of us, isn’t it? We’re all those moms with those kids. We just need to embrace the fact that we aren’t alone!
Oh, I could be a reality show somedays, Steph!!! LOL!
You hit the nail on the head. We are all that mom, the aparently perfect one and the walking disaster at the same time. And we only do play dates with my friends too. And I don’t do baby groups …