becoming ‘that mom’

Yesterday Ellie had a tubing trip with her Girl Scout troop. In my attempt to be organized, I had printed out the permission slip with all the details and paper clipped it in my planner so I wouldn’t forget. I followed all the instructions, packed everything she needed and layered her with sunscreen. We pulled into the parking lot of her school at 12:25 – exactly 5 minutes before they were scheduled to leave.

The parking lot was completely empty.

I’m panicking – the permission slip just said “drop off point at 12:30.” Did I have the wrong drop off point? This was always the drop off point! I’m calling people’s cell phones, but no one is answering. Calling my husband, trying to figure it out. I finally was searching old emails and found one that said the drop off point was – you guessed it – the tubing place. NOT the school. We were at least half an hour away – I was driving as fast as I could, trying to call people and tell them to wait, but couldn’t get hold of anyone.

I knew there was a very good chance she was going to miss this trip. Because of me.

I’m so tired of being ‘that mom.’ The mom who is always late, forgetting things, getting the phone calls and emails because I’m about to miss deadlines.  I’m tired of being such a spaz. I don’t know what else to do. I already write practically everything down and have alerts sent to my phone with reminders. And yet I still do stuff like this. I hate it. It makes me feel like a failure. Like I’m the worst mom ever.

And I swear it pretty much only happens with Girl Scouts. I don’t know why I can’t get it together with this. I hate that I always drop the ball with this activity. Its like I am physically unable to do anything right with them. What is my problem?

I cried almost the whole way to the tubing place. I was so frustrated and mad at myself.

Poor Ellie.

She was comforting me from the backseat. Saying, “Its okay, Mom. Everyone makes mistakes. Its just tubing. Don’t worry. Its okay.”

I don’t deserve this kid.

We made it with one minute to spare. And once again, all the Girl Scout moms probably thought I was the crazy spaz I usually am in front of them, as I show up completely frazzled with red eyes from crying. But she made it. And she had a terrific time.

Thank God for small favors.

 

 

About Melissa

Melissa is founder of Girlymama and co-founder of the mom fashion blog, All Things Chic. You can also find her designing blogs at Eliza Grace Design and on Twitter as Melissa Angert.

Comments

  1. 1
    Carrie says:

    What a sweet girl!! I’m always worried about the same thing with work – traveling to different locations has made me even MORE hyper-vigilant about being on time in the right place. I’ve found that I feel much better about it if take a half hour each week and review next week’s schedule and then take 5 minutes the day before to review the next day and make my list of things to take. Haven’t missed an event yet with that method. I did, however, arrive when an event was supposed to start instead of my usual 30 minutes before, the one time I DIDN’T follow that method! Good luck, you seem like the most together mom I know!!!

    • 1.1
      Melissa says:

      Oh Carrie, you are so sweet! Thanks! I seriously do not even want to know what a mess I’d be without my planner! I write everything down – even laundry and what we’re having for dinner. Without it I’m lost!

  2. 2
    hchybinski says:

    sigh. . .you are NOT alone. . .the balancing act is the toughest one in the Mom Arena I think. All any of us can do is our best. Ellie can probably help to keep track of things a bit. . .when I’m on my game, Ryan and I talk about his schedule…and he tends to remind me about things. It helps.

    don’t be hard on yourself – it all worked out fine and THAT’s what REALLY counts – right??

    hugs!
    Hillary

  3. 3
    CC says:

    I still love you, and I swear didn’t even notice the red eyes, really.

    Ummm…..just wondering…..Could you tell I was simultaneously spazzing because extra people came that I wasn’t expecting and I didn’t know if they paid yet or not and I couldn’t get everyone to stand still so I could count them and Elaine was supposed to be there but she was sick and not coming so I didn’t have a clue what was going on and I felt bad because I was supposed to be leading but I didn’t know what was really going on?? Yes, that was the crazy look in my eyes yesterday.

    Let’s plan to relax this summer and regroup! Either with coffee or maybe something stronger, in the evening, without any children.

    • 3.1
      girlymama says:

      At least I’m never alone in my spazzing… that’s what i need to keep telling myself. No one else is probably noticing because they are spazzing themselves!
      xo