i surrender

Its been a weird few weeks.

Losing Gracie was terrifying. Utterly terrifying.
A week later, the kids school was in lock-down for 2 hours due to a suicidal gunman behind the school. (I didn’t write about that before. Couldn’t even find the words.)
Two friends from high school died suddenly.
I’m watching friends and family deal with unbelievably stressful situations.
Finally, on Saturday, I ended up in the ER getting a CT-scan to see why I had a raging headache and vision problems.

I was laying there listening to the CT-scan machine whirl around my head, trying to pray to keep myself calm. What can you even say?
There was only one thing I could think of:

“Your will be done.”

I have seen so much evidence of God’s care in our lives over these past few rough weeks.
I saw Him protect and watch over Gracie when she was lost. I saw him bring her back in my arms, unharmed, when children are hurt and lost every day.
I saw Him watch over the kids, resolving the gunman situation with no one – even the gunman – being harmed, when tragedies like this litter the news almost weekly.
I saw old friends coming  together, remembering friends.
I saw His care over friends and family.
I saw His care over me, with a normal scan and my headache getting better.

But I’ve been just smacked in the face lately with how much of life is out of my hands. And how the only thing that is certain is the sovereignty of God. And reminding myself that I need to trust that He is in control in a world that seems out of control. And remembering who holds my life, who holds my family and who holds my future. And trusting, trusting and trusting more that I am in His hands, that “even the very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matthew 10:30).

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

About Melissa

Melissa is founder of Girlymama and co-founder of the mom fashion blog, All Things Chic. You can also find her designing blogs at Eliza Grace Design and on Twitter as Melissa Angert.

Comments

  1. 1
    Megan says:

    Oh Melissa, I am so sorry. I too have really felt attacked since about mid-December. I have seen so much pain and despair around me (and gone to too many funerals for people younger than me including an infant) – abuse, marriages falling apart, illness, grief (unimaginable grief). It has made me look at my life an my attitude and think – I don’t have problems in my life, I have inconveniences. Verses that I have held tight to are Romans 3:3-5. I even have it printed out and taped to the wall in my office – right next to my computer.

    Praying for you today!

  2. 2
    hchybinski says:

    i really really really needed this today – thank you – and hugs to you and yours.

    Hillary

  3. 3
    Mimzy Wimzy says:

    I’m glad your headache subsided. I have been dealing with migraines for weeks. I had one for 7 days straight! I’m looking at a lot of chiropractic care to try to get things in line & un-pinch some nerves.

    When my kids were young their school used to go on lock down on a regular basis due to bomb threats. The first time was scary. I hope you never have to experience something like that again.

    Sorry it has been so rough lately. It will get better!

  4. 4
    steph a says:

    There is no other reasonable or rational advice – well said, M. And I just read the Losing Gracie post, and I was in a panic just reading it! Glad she is safe and sound. 🙂

  5. 5

    I’m so glad that you have made it intact through such challenging things! “Surrender”…what a powerful word.